Sunrises, Sunsets, and Precut Muffins
by EstiRose
Summary: Ziggy and the team try to deal with the results of his actions during a day. Part of the "Harder to be Brave" storyline. Mentions of suicidal ideation.
1. Sunrise: Dillon

_**Note:** This is the last of the "Harder To Be Brave/Easier to Hide" stories. There will be notes at the end regarding certain things in this story/storyline, including its future._

**Sunrises, Sunsets and Precut Muffins**  
**by Estirose**  
**c 2011**

_Sunrise: Dillon_

"You know, somehow I don't think you're supposed to be up here." Dillon's dry voice was no surprise to Ziggy; he'd expected someone to notice he was up here. Mostly because Dr. K had put him on suicide watch, and Scott had agreed, and so he bet that they were keeping tabs on him. Not leaving him alone.

Dillon had left him alone, but Dillon was a loner himself, and he didn't hold to everything Dr. K or Scott said.

That being said, Ziggy had to admit that it probably wasn't the best idea to leave him alone; he had spent a good minute or two wondering if a fall from the roof would kill him, at least fast enough so that nobody could rescue him. And realizing that it wouldn't work.

For people who had been pissed off that he, Ziggy Grover, was now Ranger Green, they certainly had been shocked that he'd chosen to die. Flynn, in particular, looked like he wanted Ziggy tied up and away from danger.

Ziggy was pretty good at keeping himself out of danger, actually. And it wasn't like his reasoning hadn't been sound when it came to killing himself; he refused to be miserable in a job that was pretty much 24/7. For that matter, a job he couldn't quit. Why had he even decided to try morphing, anyway? It was like when he'd put it on his wrist, it had made sense to pull the handle, even though he'd half-figured that he wasn't a suitable candidate.

"Hey, a guy can't want to see a sunrise?" Ziggy asked, smiling. "I mean, after all that's happened, isn't it traditional to have long, angsty speeches about what I've nearly lost?" Never mind that he'd been considering if the fall could kill him not a few minutes before.

"Not when that guy sneaks off to the roof while he's still considered suicidal."

Ziggy shrugged. "Okay, maybe I wanted a few minutes alone." That part was true, he thought, as Dillon sat down next to him.

"Yeah, well, this is as close as you're going to get," Dillon said. "Scott tells me that he's taking over in half an hour, and I don't think you want him to find you here."

"Um. No." He wasn't sure how Scott would react to finding him up there, but he was sure that wouldn't be pretty. "You know, someone in this place must be into really interesting stuff. I ran across a pair of manacles the other day…."

"I don't want to know." Dillon cut his rambling off, but then again, Dillon's tolerance for such things fluctuated sometimes.

"In any case, maybe I should go downstairs. Before Scott notices." He wasn't sure why the others were reacting like they were, but he wanted to have some dignity in this whole thing while someone else managed to convince the Rangers he was all right.

"Good idea," Dillon said, and Ziggy scampered up, heading downstairs.


	2. Morning: Scott

_**Notes:** See notes in part 1._

**Sunrises, Sunsets, and Precut Muffins**  
**by Estirose**  
**c 2011**

_Morning: Scott_

Ziggy walked downstairs from the roof, his feet becoming a bit heavier with every step. He didn't want Scott to catch him up on the roof, but he didn't really want to face the rest of his Ranger "team" either. He didn't mind just hanging around and lazing - like everybody, he appreciated the day off - but with his reputation as bad as it was, it wasn't the impression he wanted to give his new co-workers - well, teammates, really, must think teammates if he was to speak the lingo effectively.

He passed the area where his room was, deciding whether to spend some quiet time inside while he was still on Dillon's "watch". There wasn't anything in there, really, besides his bed at the moment. He'd woken up that morning with all his belongings gone and today's clothes on the desk, someone's reminder that he wasn't to be trusted with much of anything at the moment.

But he decided he didn't want to be dragged out of there, either, so he went to see what was for breakfast. Breakfast could range anything from someone deciding to cook to fend for oneself, so he was rather hoping he'd be able to make his own breakfast.

"Good morning, Ziggy," Flynn said cheerfully. "Got your breakfast for you."

Okay, this was obviously not one of those mornings. He was presented with a bowl of what looked like oatmeal, orange juice, banana slices, and a muffin that had, oddly enough, been sliced up. Flynn wasn't taking any chances, apparently.

Then again, this had been the guy who had looked ready to tackle him when he'd learned that Ziggy had contemplated suicide, so he supposed that having a cut-up muffin was a small price to pay. "Thanks," he said, figuring that arguing would not be a good idea at the moment.

"You okay?" Flynn asked, peering at him. "You aren't..."

"I'm fine," Ziggy said, forcing a smile. Did a quick flash that morning count? "I... just wasn't thinking straight. I'm fine now."

"I'd rather the doctors say that," Flynn told him. "Check you over, make sure you're okay. Morning, Scott!"

Scott, their - his - team leader, settled down next to Ziggy. "Morning, Flynn," Scott said, looking at Ziggy's breakfast. "Did you make breakfast for everyone, or..."

"I figured since I was making it for Ziggy, might make it for everyone," Flynn told him. "Oatmeal's easy in bulk."

The whole "making things for Ziggy" aspect might have been a lot more flattering if he didn't feel like he was being treated like an invalid. He was starting to really resent his morpher and his own choice to put it on. He really should have run instead of activating the thing. But here he was, a Ranger. Permanently.

What confused him was the fact that they'd objected so hard to what he was planning to do. Wouldn't it still be better if they had a new Ranger Green? Someone who could fight? Instead, they'd been horrified and treating him like he was made of tissue paper. Of course, some of that could be just people didn't do well when confronted with someone wanting to kill themselves.

That made more sense than them accepting him.

He watched as Flynn handed Scott a bowl of oatmeal. How nice it would have been for him if he'd been halfway competent! Maybe if he hadn't been Dillon's incompetent, annoying friend, they'd accepted him more. Actually, they'd accepted him a little before the morpher had happened, but being Dillon's friend was a lot different than having them trust him to be able to hold his own.

"So, um." He thought the words would come out a whole lot smoother than that. "Dillon tells me I'm sticking around you this morning."

"Yeah, you could say that," Scott said. Was that annoyance at having to babysit Ziggy? Ziggy wasn't sure. "Dr. K's working on getting you an appointment, and until then…."

"We'll be keeping watch on you," Flynn helpfully finished.

"Thanks. But yeah, can't trust you to be alone."

"I wasn't thinking straight, that's all." It was probably useless to tell Scott that, but he wanted them to relax. Maybe a little. It would help him a lot.

"I get that, but we still need to have you checked out. A suicide attempt is a suicide attempt."

"Believe it or not," Flynn said, putting a hand on his arm, "We know you weren't our ideal candidate, Ziggy. You know what? It doesn't matter."

Ziggy remembered Flynn's expression when Dillon revealed him as Ranger Green and seriously doubted that.

"You're part of this team." Scott folded his arms. "Being a team means being here for each other. We might be training your ass off for the next few weeks, but we're here for you if you need us."

"Yeah, I'm good at running and ducking, but not the other parts." It wasn't like he wasn't telling Scott and Flynn anything they didn't know. "And… I don't want to spend today sitting around." It was what they wanted to hear, and that way, he didn't feel like he was so useless. "I want to spend today training. It would make me feel better! Really!"

Flynn looked at Scott. Scott looked at Flynn. "What'cha think, Scott?" Flynn asked. "I wasn't planning on doing that, but..."

"I always feel better after a good session," Scott said. "And I was planning to get a workout in anyway." He began to smile. "You're on."

"You don't mind? You don't mind!" Ziggy widened his eyes. "Er, I mean, of course you'd-"

"Ziggy," Flynn said, "If that's what you really want, we'd be happy to kick your butt into shape for the next few hours."

He couldn't really say that he wanted to spend the next few hours training, but what the heck. It gave them something to focus upon besides what he'd tried to do, and well, if he had to be part of the team, it would be nice if he could actually fight.

And since they seemed to have really violent objections to his way of getting them a new Ranger Green… he was going to have to learn to work with them.

"Well, of course. I'm going to be part of this team, after all." He was good at parroting things back to people so they heard what they wanted to hear. It had saved him multiple times.

He was going to be really sore, but if it kept them happy, it kept them happy.

"First, you've gotta eat your breakfast," Flynn said, indicating the breakfast Ziggy hadn't started on yet. "You won't have the energy if you don't."

"Um, yeah. Right." He dug into his breakfast. He still wasn't thrilled about the cut-up muffins, but he ate them and the rest of the food obediently.

"Flynn," he heard Scott saying as he ate, "Don't you think the muffins are going a bit too far?"

"Didn't want to take any risks, man," Flynn responded, and Ziggy could practically hear the shrug. Well, at least he wasn't the only one that thought they were a bit too much.

"Even if he did have a knife, he'd have one of us nearby," Scott said. "You'd be able to stop him if he did something stupid."

"Ah, well, I'll keep that in mind," Flynn replied, and Ziggy held out hope that the whole thing might be over soon. "What do we do if Venjix attacks?"

"Dr. K says he's got that handled. Something about remote delivery of a sedative." Ziggy shivered and hoped that Venjix wouldn't attack, because he so did not want to end up sedated. Visions of knockout gas came to mind unbidden, but he wasn't beyond thinking that Dr. K would use something more sadistic.

"Well, hopefully we won't need that," Flynn said.

"I kind of hope that too," Ziggy said. "Knockout gas makes me nervous, you know?"

"I assure you, Ranger Green, there are other methods of inducing sedatives into the human body other than flooding the area with potentially long-lasting drug effects," Dr. K interrupted, and Ziggy was sure at that point that yes, Doc K was feeling sadistic.

"Have you gotten an appointment for Ziggy yet?" Scott asked Dr. K's screen.

"Not yet, Ranger Red, but I have requested such an appointment. I am currently waiting for them to respond."

Scott gave the screen a brief nod, and turned to Ziggy. "When you finish breakfast, we'll go to the training room and start working out."

"Morning, guys." Ziggy looked up to see Summer joining them. "I sent Dillon to bed and… is that oatmeal, Flynn?"

"Yes, it is," Flynn said. "Want some?"

"Sure," Summer said cheerfully. She settled down at the bar. "How are you feeling this morning, Ziggy?"

"Better than everyone thinks I am, really," Ziggy said, raising his hands in emphasis.

"Looks like we're going to be spending the day teaching Ziggy to fight," Flynn said. "He's said he wants the practice."

Summer looked a little disappointed, but quickly regained her smile. "Well, if that's what Ziggy wants to do today, I don't mind. We'll break for lunch and chat, too."

So, apparently, in the middle of getting his butt kicked in the name of not being the team idiot, he was going to talk about his feelings, too. Great.

He finished his breakfast as fast as possible.

Training under Scott, he had to admit, wasn't too bad. Scott might have been pissed that Ziggy got the Green Morpher, but hey, at least he was used to new recruits, obviously. He'd gone through stretching exercises and told Ziggy he should do them every day if possible, as well as the basics of hand-to-hand fighting, and at least blocking attacks. Stuff Ziggy didn't know.

Of course, he really didn't like feeling clumsy as Scott blocked all of his attacks, but Scott was trained military, and him? He'd gotten out of everything with words and smiles that wouldn't work on Grinders or Attackbots. No wonder the others had been pissed off.

He still wasn't sure about the sudden "Ziggy, you're our teammate" thing, but hey, it wasn't like he could change jobs. The morpher's bond to his DNA ensured that only he could activate it, which meant that he had no choice. He was going to help save the world, or die.

"How are you feeling?" Scott asked, as they were taking a break.

"Well, I don't really feel like taking on a pack of Grinders right now," Ziggy said, "But I'm okay. Really." The exercise was making him feel better, and the idea that he might even be able to hold his own someday in fights was actually lifting his mood. He still felt like they could do better and it would be easier if he was out of the way, but, well, apparently that wasn't how things worked here, was it?

"Ziggy, if you were 'okay, really', we wouldn't have you on suicide watch. Remember?" Scott's reminder was a damper; Ziggy had really hoped they'd forget why he was spending the day with each of them.

"Okay, I'm okay enough that I'm really not going to take one of Flynn's prized steak knives and stab myself. I wasn't thinking clearly that night, okay? Even I, Ziggy Grover, have my off days. And you've got to admit, getting chased by a homicidal machine with an intent to disembowel me and not having any choice but to activate the morpher, knowing you guys would hate me for it, really counts as an 'off day'!"

He hadn't meant to explode at Scott. Really, he hadn't. To his credit, Scott at least looked taken aback.

"And that's why I did what I did the other night. Sometimes, it just gets to the point where even I can't deal… why did the morpher even activate for me…."

Yeah, so not handling this well.

Scott came to sit by him. "We don't know. But I'm not sure it was entirely your choice to bond, either." He looked up at the ceiling. "It happened. We'll deal."

"Back up a little about the not being entirely my choice," Ziggy asked. Begged, really.

"As far as Dr. K can tell," Scott said, "Yeah, the morpher shouldn't have bonded. But it did, and you were reacting to its 'okay to bond' signal in the middle of a dangerous situation. You wanted to live, and so…."

"I pulled the lever," Ziggy said. It made sense. Knowing he didn't want to be a Ranger, he'd felt like he needed to pull it anyway. Not because he absolutely needed to, but because it was the best way to defend himself, and something in him took it.

Funny that he'd then tried to end that life.

"I… I didn't want to take the morpher off, you know, when I took it off to go out." He'd thought at the time that it was just because he wanted to brag about it. "I told myself the next Operator would be better for it."

He knew that his voice was softening to a level where Scott could barely hear, but maybe he didn't want Scott to hear.

"You wanted," Scott said, only a bit louder than Ziggy's own volume, "To live."

"Yeah," Ziggy said. He had; but his determination to make things better had caused him to take it off. A form of bravery that nobody would think Ziggy Grover capable of, to sacrifice himself for the betterment of the world. Just as he'd sacrificed everything for those kids.

It was easier to learn to fight than it was to be brave, indeed. Especially when it was to protect someone else.

Maybe it was time to channel that whole sacrificing thing into protecting people, like it was supposed to be, but it wasn't going to be easy when he really didn't know how to fight.

"Then let's make sure you get better at living," Scott said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Ziggy could have protested that he was really good at living, too. But instead, he got up and mentally readied himself for another round of being knocked around.


	3. Afternoon: Summer

_**Notes:** See chapter 1 for notes._

**Sunrises, Sunsets, and Precut Muffins**  
**by Estirose**  
**c 2011**

_Afternoon: Summer_

"So, I guess it's you and me now," Ziggy said to Summer in the room where he and Scott had been training. Scott had told him it was just about time for Summer's turn, and the whole thing about talking and having lunch was just… he'd just had a talk he hadn't intended to have with Scott. Did he really want to have one with Summer?

Of course, he might not have a choice, either. His fate was in the hands of Scott, Summer, and Flynn. Well, Dillon, too, but Dillon had never rejected him as a Ranger. Dillon might still be a bit pissy about the whole thing, but he'd never reject Ziggy as a Ranger.

And maybe the others were on their way to doing the same. But Ziggy couldn't be sure.

"Yep, you and me. And… I think it's time for lunch."

Well, it wasn't like he had much choice, did he? He was under watch; he wasn't allowed to say no, not without worrying them. He could attempt to flirt to keep her from discussing those things he didn't want to discuss, but his heart wasn't in it.

Maybe he wasn't okay, after all.

"Um, I'd rather keep training, but… um. It's your call." Maybe he was a little bit tired. He and Scott had been working out, after all. And maybe Summer was feeling a bit guilty, and if she wanted to feed him lunch, who was he to complain?

He had a sudden vision of her feeding him like he'd always seen on TV, where the guy just opened his mouth and the girl fed him. Of course, that would be kind of bad in this situation, because that would mean she didn't trust him to eat, and the last thing he wanted to do was have a repeat of the cut muffins that morning.

"I ordered pizza," she said, giving him a smile. "You mentioned that you liked it, so I got us a pepperoni pineapple. I hope you don't mind; that's my favorite toppings."

"I can live with that," Ziggy said, and quickly realized what had come out of his mouth. "Er. I don't mind it at all, I mean."

At least they were trying. Being nice. It almost made up for what Summer was going to bother him about; it could be much worse.

He could have been in the hospital, from either someone not completing the job, to Dr. K deciding to stick him in there. At least where he was, he had some semblance of dignity, as long as he didn't push things.

"We know what you mean," Scott said. He gave Ziggy a gentle push. "Go, have lunch."

Summer led him to the bar, where a pizza box sat. "Dr. K says that you're going to the doctor tomorrow morning," she said. "So, I guess you'll just have me, Flynn, and Dillon, and then Scott'll take you to the appointment in the morning."

"Oh. Okay." He was and wasn't looking forward to going to the doctor - the psych. He wasn't really fond of the whole idea. On the other hand, it would get him back on active duty and off suicide watch before he went crazy. And psychs were sometimes really easy to manipulate.

It wasn't that easy with people who knew you, though he tried. "Here. Let's get plates; we can eat pizza on the sofa."

Ziggy thought about protesting, but realized that Summer was as likely to interrogate him at the bar, and he'd much rather be comfortable. That was probably why Dillon had insisted on the couches the night before - Ziggy couldn't run that way.

Well, okay, he could have sprinted off, but that would have told people other than Dillon that something was going on, and face it, Dillon could have dragged him back easily.

So, he let Summer get plates, and resigned himself to getting comfortable on the couch. She served him two slices of pizza and took two for herself. He discovered that he was hungry, and tried not to wolf down the pizza slices.

"How are you feeling?" Summer asked, after she'd finished her own two.

"Um. Okay. Re-" He stopped for a moment, remembering what Scott had said. "Okay at the moment, and, uh, more okay than anybody thinks."

"Yeah, good exercise will do that for you," Summer said, grinning a bit. "And since you want training, I'll be glad to help out. I just thought we'd talk for a bit first. I guess I don't really know you."

"Well, I try to be suave and mysterious," he said, pulling at nonexistent suspenders.

This caused her to laugh briefly, then she stopped as if she was afraid to laugh at him. Which was nice, he had to admit. Not being laughed at, that was.

"Ziggy, you tell the worst jokes of anyone I've ever met. You're sometimes offensive even if you don't mean to be. And I have to admit, I wish we'd gotten somebody with a little more fighting skill and a few less one-liners."

Well, at least she was being honest. He tried not to gulp.

"But you have heart, and that's important. You can learn to fight." She brushed her hair back. "You're our teammate, Ziggy, and I want you to know that once Scott, Flynn, and I got over our shock, we accepted you. That's why it hurt so much when we learned that you tried to kill yourself - you're part of our team, and if you'd died…." She took a deep breath. "There might have been a new Ranger Green, they might have been able to fight. But… they wouldn't have been you."

"Um…." Definitely painful discussion time. If it had just been about Summer, Ziggy would have tried to hold her. But it was about him, and he didn't want it to be about him. He would have gotten the hell out of there if he'd had a choice and wasn't likely to be tackled by a well-meaning set of Rangers.

"I guess we were a bit harsh on you, but we were worried that you'd get killed in your second fight trying to show off," she said, putting down her plate and taking his hand. "We really didn't mean for it to feel like you weren't wanted. We just wanted you to understand that you had a team to think about. I guess… we should have told you it was because we were worried about you."

Ziggy wanted to facepalm, but he didn't. He wondered if Summer would have realized he'd feel worse and it might have made leaving easier.

"Yeah. Well. Kinda had the opposite effect, if you know what I mean?" he didn't want to have an emotional conversation with Summer after having one with Scott.

"We really didn't mean it that way, Ziggy." She frowned. "We didn't mean to seem like we didn't want you. We just… well." Was she wiping a tear away? "We didn't want you to die, just having gotten you."

"Um." Did he get stuck in some kind of feel-good movie, or one of those movies-of-the-week, or something like that? Because it certainly felt like he had.

"You've got your flaws. We all do. All we ask is that you try to learn to fight. Scott would also say obey his orders, but that's Scott. There's a lot of potential in there, and we don't want to lose it."

"Um. Okay." Maybe she'd stop talking now? "But you don't have to worry about me, really." Damn, there it was again, the 'really'. "I'm not suicidal. Well, I was suicidal, but…."

"Just be okay, Ziggy. Be okay for us."

"I'll be the okayest that ever met okay," Ziggy said, raising a hand. "I just wish you guys would stop worrying, all right? Something went wrong, and it's okay now. Even if it went really wrong."

Yeah, he could do without being in the movie of the week. "I'm sure you'll be okay, too," Summer said. "I just want you to know… we're here for you, Ziggy. Not because we have to be, because we want to be. We live in the same place; we watch movies together, we take turns cooking, we socialize with each other, we can't not be here for each other. This is why we're such a good team."

Were her eyes getting teary again? Ziggy hoped not.

"Anyway," she said. "I just wanted you to know that. And that we should eat the pizza before the rest of the group gets to it."

"Too late," Flynn said, and as Ziggy looked over, he saw Flynn pick up two slices, a huge grin on his face. "But thanks for the pizza, anyway."

"The Ranger team that works together, eats together," Summer said with a sigh. "But we really should eat, because I understand that you want your but kicked, Landsdown style." That brought a smile to her face, and Ziggy had to shudder. Just a tiny bit.

But, obediently, he helped her finish up the pizza, and mentally prepared himself for another couple hours of training.


	4. Evening: Flynn

_**Notes:** See notes in chapter 1._

**Sunrises, Sunsets, and Precut Muffins**  
**by Estirose**  
**c 2011**

_Evening: Flynn_

"So," Flynn said casually. "It's my turn now."

Ziggy, resting up from Summer's training session, looked up to see the only teammate who hadn't thrashed him - okay, besides Dillon - standing by the door, grinning.

He'd spent an awful amount of time on the ground thanks to Scott and Summer, and he suspected from the gleam in Flynn's eyes that their Ranger Blue was gearing up to do the same. Well, at least only the other Rangers knew how bad he was at fighting.

"I thought you had dinner tonight?" Summer asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Scott volunteered to take up my dinner duties," Flynn said, "Figuring I was going to be busy with Ziggy here. I figured the same. Was going to be working on my truck and dinner, but I said I'd help Ziggy learn to fight, so I am."`

Learning to fight, maybe. At least it would keep him from trying to interrogate Ziggy about his decision the night before last.

"I guess I'll go do the stuff I was planning to do then," Summer said. "Have fun!"

With that, she was out the door. "So, how are you feeling?" Flynn asked.

Ziggy shrugged. "A little tired. I... don't think I'm going to get this all down very fast..."

It was honest. It should also get Flynn thinking about ways to teach Ziggy how to fight rather than the stuff Ziggy wasn't sure about, especially with Flynn, the person who seemed to react the worst to Ziggy's plan.

"You've just got to keep on trying." He offered Ziggy a hand, and Ziggy took it. "I wasn't always a roaring success the first time I did things, either."

"Oh. Good." There were worse things than having to train with a sympathetic instructor.

"So, you know, there's a certain art to attacking Grinders..."

Flynn was a good teacher. There was no doubt about that. He was full of enthusiasm and he wasn't shy about doing things over again, and again, and again.

He was also good about having conversations in the middle of attacks. Something that would have been more up Ziggy's alley if Flynn hadn't decided to change the topic to Ziggy.

"So," Flynn said, while blocking one of Ziggy's punches, "I've never actually dealt with someone who was suicidal who wasn't trying to kill themselves then and there. I was pretty good at tackling those at my prior work, but... well, I have to admit that I might have overreacted a bit. Dr. K says that you just need to be checked on every few minutes."

"Ah. Thanks. It's nice to know that I can't be counted on to not stab myself in the few minutes between checks." He didn't meant to be sarcastic. He was just tired. That was it.

"Well, you have to admit, you did give us a right scare when we found out that you'd tried to kill yourself thinking you were helping us." Flynn caught a second punch and tossed Ziggy to the ground. "You may not be a good fighter, Ziggy, but you're part of this team now, and I don't want you to think you're unwelcome. The morpher accepted you - why shouldn't we?"

Ziggy wished he had a comeback to that, but he really didn't. Summer had said that it had taken her and the others just minutes to accept him as a teammate - which then translated into panic, and general "Ziggy-is-incompetent" stuff.

"I'm still wondering what the morpher was thinking - well, the morpher doesn't think, of course, but..."

"It had to have a reason." Flynn sounded confident about that. "Ziggy, we don't hate you, we just... well, your jokes need a bit of work, man."

"Okay." His jokes were perfectly fine, thank you. But he was still not up to debating some things.

"In any case, I'm sure Scott and Summer have told you this... but you're our teammate now, Ziggy, and we don't want you to think you're ever unwelcome. It may take a little time to get used to being on a team, but you are. If you have any problems - or any urges to take care of something by dying - we'd kind of like to know." He gave Ziggy a hand back up. "And if you're not comfortable telling us, or Dr. K - he really does mean well, you know - talk to Dillon. He sounded as pissed about what you tried to do as much as we did. Maybe worse."

"Um, yeah, he was pissed all right when he showed up, that's for sure!" Ziggy had figured that it was because Dr. K had hauled him from whatever to fetch him back, but maybe he had been pissed off for other reasons.

"Yeah, friends tend to do that, you see." He lunged at Ziggy, who reactively stepped out of the way. "Good going. But promise me, okay? Talk to Dillon, if nobody else, if something goes wrong."

"I... think I can promise that." It was really weird, how the others were kind of falling all over themselves to make sure he knew he was welcome, but he guessed that a team like that had to work this way, to trust each other and have each others' backs.

It was funny, how he would become part of such a team. It was sortof kindof what he had been looking for in the Cartel, but that turned out to be not so true.

"Good. And we'll do what we can to make sure that you don't get into too much trouble out in the field. Once the doctors clear you, of course." He gave Ziggy a smile, and then came at him in a way that threatened to dislocate Ziggy's shoulder.

"Um. Right." He could live with it. Really. And it wouldn't be too long before it was dinnertime, and then maybe they could watch a movie. Or something. He was getting tired. As his body reminded him a moment later when he didn't quite dodge out of Flynn's way.

Flynn was still smiling as he came out of the maneuver. "You're definitely good at dodging. Getting out of people's way. Most of the time, that is."

"Yeah, well, survival skill." Ziggy shrugged. It was what had kept him alive, after all.

Flynn appraised him for a moment. And nodded. "Hey, Dr K!" he called.

"Yes, Ranger Blue?" the screen asked, lighting up with Dr. K's symbol.

"Isn't Ranger Green's power something to do with teleportation, perchance?" he asked.

"Yes, but I fail to see how it has to do with Ranger Green's dodging skills-"

"Well, you've got a guy good at dodging and a power that has to do with getting somewhere fast," Flynn said meaningfully.

"I would hardly call him 'good at dodging', Ranger Blue. However, he has shown promise in that area, and I will consider dexterity training an important part of his growing skill set as the days progress, after he is cleared for duty."

Flynn grinned again. "Thanks, Dr. K."

The screen almost sighed as it went blank again.

"I see a lot of ball-dodging in your future, Ziggy," Flynn said, clapping him on the shoulder. "Don't worry, it'll be good for you."

Ziggy gulped, but at least talking about training he could deal with. "Um. Thanks. I, um, wasn't planning on sitting down in peace in the near future anyway." He'd seen Ranger surprise training sessions, and he could well imagine what his were going to be like for a while.

"No, you won't. But you'll get used to it. We all have." Flynn clapped him on the shoulder once more. "Now, let's get back to work, and make that dodge of yours even better..."

Steadying himself, Ziggy hoped that he wouldn't be in too much pain later. As Flynn set to charge at him once more, he hoped dinner would be ready soon.


	5. Sunset: Ziggy

_**Notes:** See chapter 1 for general notes, and the end of this part for a few more notes._

**Sunrises, Sunsets, and Precut Muffins**  
**by Estirose**  
**c 2011**

_Sunset: Ziggy_

"Hey, thanks for inviting me up on the roof, Dillon." Across the horizon, he could see the Corinth streetlights, brightly lit below the artificial night. It was past dark, in Dillon's shift of watching over him and while it wasn't precisely sunset, Ziggy felt there was something poetic about starting and ending his day on the roof, watching the waning light.

Of course, the fact that Dillon had wanted to brood on the roof probably had most to do with it. And his assertion to Scott that no, Ziggy was not stupid enough to jump off the roof with Dillon present.

"You're welcome." It was less a welcome than a statement of fact, the way Dillon was sometimes. "So, do I have to worry about you jumping off the roof?"

"No, and I promise you that." It was funny, how he would have lied about that in the morning. How he did, actually. But he'd held by his promise to hold the Green Morpher safely, and he'd hold by his promise to talk to someone next time he felt suicidal. Which, he hoped, was never, ever again. "Flynn made me promise to tell someone if I was feeling that way again. You, preferably."

Dillon snorted. Ziggy wondered if the noise was about Flynn, or about coming to him.

"I guess since you and I arrived together..."

"Yeah, I know. And I'll add this." Dillon sat up suddenly. "If you ever go off to get yourself killed again, I promise you that I will make you regret it."

"Um, thanks. That wasn't quite the reassurance I was looking for, but it's nice to know you care. I mean, nobody's ever wanted to kill me for wanting to kill myself before."

"Yeah, well, try not to get into that situation. It was bad enough that you took off in the first place." Dillon laid back down again, as if the anger had drained out of him. Or maybe he just wanted to lay down. "Have you felt suicidal since then." It would have been a question, had it not been from Dillon.

"This morning, for a few seconds, but I got over it fast." Ziggy looked over at his sometime friend. "And I didn't do it. It was before you got up on the roof this morning."

"Good." Dillon was staring at the stars. Or the simulation of stars. "I would have been really irritated if I'd had to drag you away from the edge."

"You kinda already did, if you really think about it," Ziggy said. "In a figurative sense, I mean, not a literal one."

"Yeah, well." Dillon was silent for a moment. "I didn't mean to drag them into it. I wish you'd told me so we could deal with it instead of the whole team being nosy."

Ziggy almost laughed. So, if he'd confessed, he would have only had to deal with Dillon, and not this whole suicide watch thing?

Of course, as frustrating as it was, it wasn't so bad. Sure, he was tired, both physically and having the others around him so much. He didn't mind being around people, being around them energized him rather than exhausted him, but the knowledge he was being watched... so much never doing that ever again if he could help it, even if he'd learned some things that he wouldn't have known before.

Like the fact that in that moment at the racetrack, he'd accepted the morpher, and it had accepted him back, and maybe it was meant to be. Sure, he needed some work on a lot of things, but maybe he was wrong about not being on the team. Maybe he had met the qualifications for Ranger Green without even realizing it. And maybe he could grow into a good Ranger.

It wasn't something that would happen immediately, but it would happen. He wasn't a reject, he was just untrained, and he could live with that. Give him a few weeks, maybe a few months, and he would be the guy he'd dreamed himself to be.

Scott had been right: he wanted to live, even in the moments where he wanted to die.

He just hoped he'd feel that way when he'd be spending the next few months dodging random balls. He hoped Dr. K didn't think of installing something in his bedroom, just to keep him on his feet.

"Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. I got to know them a bit, and they got to realize that... well, I'm now Ziggy Grover, Ranger Green." Ziggy Grover, Ranger Green. It was a pleasant thing to hear.

Dillon snorted again. "I'd hope so."

His tone had a "Shut up, I want to brood in silence" tone to it, so Ziggy shut up, content to be up on the roof with his friend. Out here, he wasn't being watched. He wasn't being worried about.

And in that, he felt free.

* * *

**End notes:**

Whew! A lot of fic-writing later, I've finally finished this storyline! In all, the whole storyline came to over 14,000 words, according to AO3. That includes everything from "Harder to be Brave" to "Pre-cut Muffins".

I used "The Forever Decision" and the Metanoia suicide pages once again for some of my background. The Mayo Clinic's website discussed what to do with someone you suspect is suicidal; for the suicide watch, I ran with something I read on Wikipedia (the vast majority of my professors would be facepalming at this for good reason), fitting it to match with the needs of a Ranger team. The whole plan that Dr. K mentions and Flynn sort of gets Ziggy to implement was pulled from the About dot com site that covers depression. I also read up on the mindset of suicide survivors, which I used for some of Summer's, Scott's, and Flynn's attitudes, on Suicide dot org.

Not related to suicide, but during the writing of this fic series, I started wondering how Ziggy's casual bonding with his morpher could fit in with the general idea that not everybody qualified to be an Operator. I probably overthought it too much, but Ziggy apparently did meet whatever standards were required to bond with his morpher (if barely), and so when he put it on his wrist in the middle of a dangerous situation, it bonded.

As for more fics in this universe? Well, I can certainly see myself writing them! Unfortunately, they won't be right away; I have two major WIPs I want to finish off (one for Kamen Rider W, one for Kamen Rider Kiva) before I do anything else. But, who knows?


End file.
